After I indicated earlier
that I was winding up the discussion of sexualizing our culture, a reader asked
me to consider the women's perspective. She wrote:
Jonal today. When people complain about how no one has any self-respect, i.e.;
the sexual free-or-all on our campuses, maybe some of the blame should be on people
who use terms like "snack jerky" to describe women. That to me is just as offensive
as hearing the term "tube steak" to label men. If menall menwere a
little more respecting of women as well as themselves there would be no need to
have "guard dogs posted" to protect women from them.
for women, life is a perpetual mating season. We are always under sexual attack,
be it verbal, emotional, or physical and through the media. We have been battling
men to "ease up" on us since time began. But they don't. Sexuality has always
been a war of sorts. The only problem with the war was, the men had all the weapons.
Their animal instinct was and is to jump, hump and use everyone and anyone they
could and to hell with the women left behind to carry the emotional baggage because
it's a well known fact that most men consider sex a physical thing and not the
emotional event that women consider it to be.
for today's young women...they have decided to even out the battlefield by "playing
the game." Men have always reduced sex to the physical...don't complain because
women now have, too. I guess what I'm saying is: Women couldn't teach men to be
emotional, so women learned to be physical, and now it means nothing to anyone.
considering how I could write the women's perspective, I asked for some more ideas,
to which the correspondent added these well-put talking points:
are some (more) thoughts on the subject of women under sexual assault.
Women are under sexual assault via the media. a. Rap music, where they're called
"ho's," bitches, and worse. b. Advertising geared to "getting" and "scoring" women.
c. Porn... WOMEN are reduced to the level of animals (and I think you know what
2. In the workplace, it's difficult if not impossible
to be friends with men. a. Some men often misinterpret friendliness as a sexual
overture, i.e., "If you're friendly...you're fair game."
Sleeping around has become so common place; sex in general is reduced to having
no importance or emotional attachment. Men want to marry "pure" women but they
don't want to protect, much less accept, the purity of women. The line: "If you
loved me..you would" was used as a weapon against girls. And the reply of the
beleagered female became, "If you loved me, you wouldn't ask."
We don't give sex and sexuality the respect it deserves. Instead of the situation
being, No sex until we "feel good" (engaged/ married/ or at least "committted")
about each other, we have a situation where it's, "we'll have sex and maybe we'll
feel good about each other." To me, a relationshipa good relationshipshould
be like a good book. The sex is at the end of the book. If you have sex after
page one, it becomes the end of the story, and all the "good" stuff like learning
to "like" each other and getting to really know each other is missed.
What self-respecting man or woman wants to have a relationship with someone who
has "been everywhere" and "done everything."
I hope I made
some sense with all this.
Well said, and better
than I could have.
complete index of Jon Kennedy's Jonals for 2001 - 2005