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 Some longer
jokes, stories, and miscellany
In
the absence of Judy Rose's pages during her leave of absense, we're going to run
some occasional longer jokes and stories sent by members and friends of the list
that exceed the normal day's chuckle and thought for the day space.—Webmaster
A
timely one—
Lessons learned via Charley and Frances Coffee
and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill. No
matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.
Kids
can survive four days or longer without a video game controller in their hand.
Cats
are even more irritating without power. He
who has the biggest generator wins. Women
can actually survive without doing their hair...you just wish they weren't around
you. A
new method of non-lethal torture...showers without hot water. There
are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought. TV
is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful. One day at a time, brother. A
7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz (drinks) to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes,
and still keep a 14-pound turkey frozen for 8 more hours. There
are a lot of trees around here. Flood
plan drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong. Contrary
to most Florida natives' beliefs, the speed limit on roads without traffic lights
does not increase. Aluminum
siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required. Just
because you're over 21 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as you want. .Or
so the cops told me during a curfew stop. Crickets
can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators. People
will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the
line is for. When
required, a Chrysler 300M will float...doesn't steer well, but floats just the
same. Some
things do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds. Telemarketers
function no matter what the weather is doing. Cell
phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains
charged. 27
of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are
quick to point that out! Laundry
hampers were not made to contain such a volume. If
I had a store that sold only ice, chainsaws, gas, and generators...I'd be rich. The
price of a bag of ice rises 200% after a hurricane. Your
waterfront property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole. Tree
service companies are under appreciated. I
learned what happens when you make fun of another state's blackout. MATH
101: 30 days in a month, minus six days without power equals 30 percent higher
electric bill ????? Drywall
is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's worthless. I
can walk a lot farther than I thought.
—
Sent
by Paul & Caroline Simendinger 
Contributions
for this department should be sent to jrk@nantyglo.com.
Things sent to "nantyglo_list" do not qualify for publishing on
the permanent pages
(as most who read these pages will see them there first).
No copyrighted items, please. |
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Thought for
today