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Good Morning Nanty Glo!
             Sunday, November 24 2002  

Webmaster's note: David Caldwell's post for this Sunday was not received as of deadline time. In the hope that it may come in time for use tomorrow, we're using Monday's postcard early. And to further complicate things, Judy Rose has begged off her normal Where Are They Now? for this week, as she's working on a special treat for use as Thanksgiving's post on Thursday. Judy forwarded the following, which she received from her sister-in-law.

A Thanksgiving special

Happy Thanksgiving.

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes:

Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea. The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead, we will be displaying a hedghog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.

We will be dining fashionably late, and the children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share with you the very choice comments I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims, and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5 a.m., upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children's recital. I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of the feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. And in the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table, in a separate room, next door.

Oh, and one reminder for the adults; for the duration of the meal, and especially while in the presence of young diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: cheese sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins of cheese sauce, plead ignorance.

Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner, For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning; Do not under any circumstances enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife and the turkey is unarmed. I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

Before I forget, there is one last change; instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take it or leave it.

—Author unknown.


If you have a suggestion for a subject for Where Are They Now, please write Judy Rose.

Signs across America

 

...hope everyone brought a coffeecan or mason jar.

 

 

—Sent by Sallie Covolo

Thought for today

Life...is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

—Douglas Adams

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