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Good Morning Nanty Glo!
               Sunday, June 23 2002 

Rejection and homosexuality

David Caldwell sent regrets that he was unable to send a postcard for today, so in its lack I'll continue Friday's thoughts about rejection. I proposed on Friday that rejection or its perception has huge power to affect our relationships, our personalities, and our self-images, in this age of self-esteem. I have several additional subtopics to explore under this heading. This time I'll thow out a few prelimary propositions regarding homosexuality, as one of the most popular explanations of its cause or origin is the rejection felt by a small child from one of his or her parents. A medical website summarizes this:

Martin Hallett, Director and Counsellor at True Freedom Trust, has found that the majority of male homosexuals counselled identified very much with [a] lack of intimate bonding with the father or any other male role model. The heterosexual identity is not established and the unaffirmed child later suffers from a lack of confidence and fear of failure in heterosexual contacts. He tries to meet his unmet same-sex needs through sexual relationships. Sara Lawton, a Christian counsellor specializing in lesbianism and sex-abuse, sees the root of female homosexuality as an unmet need for mother love which becomes sexualized in the adult and may be compounded by repressed trauma such as adoption and sexual abuse.

When in the ministry I was in touch with a woman counselor who was so convinced that these anecdotal testimonies were the key to understanding homosexuality that she virtually made its endorsement a requirement to pass her course or a place in her circle of colleagues. And though I think there is probably much truth in these testimonies, I am not convinced they can be supported as universal or absolute. Such evidence omits several mitigating case findings. For one, in sets of identical twins who have of course identical parents and are likely to be treated equally in infancy, there are some sets in which one twin, when grown, is a homosexual and the other is not. And there are other sets in which both twins is homosexual (and of course in the great majority of cases, neither twin is homosexual). There are also compelling "findings" of causes of homosexuality in genetic predisposition or chemical makeup.

Though the chemical makeup would be extremely close in identical twins, the genetic predisposition seems to work here. If both twins are equally loved and treated the same in early childhood, why would become homosexual and the other not, if rejection theories are flawless? The most logical explanations, it seems to me, are internal predispositions. One child reacts to the same love and level of acceptance/rejection negatively, becoming homosexual in later life...the other reacts positively and has a heterosexual orientation after the onset of adolescence.

What one child perceives from the parent as good parenting is perceived by the sibling as rejection, or shunning. In some cases, one sibling may even tell the other, "Dad loves me more...he told me." A "normal" child would react by discounting such a claim. But one who's predisposed, possibly by a variation in genetic makeup, to homosexuality, will believe it, internalize it, and tell his counsellor in adulthood that he feels that from the earliest time he can remember, that parent rejected him or didn't love him or her enough.

In short, I think there's truth to both the "nurture" line (parental relationships) of explaining the origin of homosexuality, and the "nature" line (genetic makeup) in finding causes of homosexual predispositions. And neither applies universally and absolutely.

—Webmaster Jon Kennedy

You may be a redneck if... (2002 edition, series)

You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

— Sent by Mike Harrison

Thought for today

A little learning is a dangerous thing, but a lot of ignorance is just as bad.

—Bob Edwards

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