Johnstown vs. The Real World
I almost never use "canned" material or other people's writing for these entries, but today I received (from John Golias) a piece that's so good I'm going to make an exception. There are a lot of creations similar to this out there, but this one strikes me as more appropos of Greater Johnstown than most of the others to any specific locale, and since this is the first time I'd seen this one, I'm hoping it will be new to you, also.
Bachelor" Real World = College Degree, Professional Job
Wedding Reception" Real World = Live band, exquisite food, posh hotel, ballroom
Wear (Men's)" Real World = Black Tuxedo
Real World = Has been around the world
Sightings" Real World = Tom Cruise
"Summer" Real World = Memorial
Day to Labor Day
Weather" Real World = Hot and sunny
Music" Real World = Beethoven's 5th symphony
"Ideal Soft Drink" Real World
= Perrier with a twist
Family Structure" Real World = Husband works, wife stays home
Restaurant for 25th Wedding Anniversary Celebration"
to Shop for Wedding Present" Real World = Bloomingdales
"Romantic Gift for Wife" Real
World = Imported Cologne
"Romantic Gift for Husband" Real World
= Armani Suit
Course Meal" Real World = Appetizer, salad, sorbet, main course, desert,
Banking" Real World = Bank of Japan
"Lifetime Goal" Real World =
To reach the top of the corporate ladder
Real World = Mickey Mantle autographed baseball
"Classic Movie" Real World
= Gone with the Wind
Bonus" Real World = Stock Options
Event" Real World = Mardi Gras
Calorie Food" Real World = Weight Watchers
Label" Real World = Ralph Lauren Polo
"Newcomer's Club" Real World
= Helps newcomers feel welcome
"Nice Smile" Real
World = Shiny white teeth, fresh breath
Vehicle" Real World = Cadillac, Lincoln, BMW.
Orchestra" Real World = New York Philharmonic
"Famous Judge" Real World
= Lance Ito
for Living Where You Do" Real World = Job opportunities, good schools, nice
It's nice to see how many points I "score" on the "test." It just goes to show that over 35 years-plus, and 2700 miles away, not all my roots have been pulled out.
—Webmaster Jon Kennedy
A parochial school teacher asked her class to write notes to God. Here are some of the notes the children handed in:
Dear God: We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said you did it. So, I bet he stole Your idea.
—Sent by Sallie Covolo
Four clergymen were discussing the merits of the various translations of the Bible. One liked the King James Version because of its simple beautiful English.
Another liked the American Standard Version best because it is more literal and came nearer to the original Hebrew and Greek.
Still another liked Moffat's translation because of its up-to-date vocabulary.
The fourth minister was silent. When asked to express his opinion, he replied, "I like my mother's translation best."
The other three expressed surprise. They did not know that his mother had translated the Bible.
But he assured them, "She translated it into life, every day of her life, and it was the most convincing translation I ever saw."
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