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Wednesday, April 10 2002

Senior moments and out of touch

People in their 50s (whose club I'm eligible for membership in for less than two more months now), like to blame their lapses of memory, especially on things they should readily know, like the names of close family members, on "senior moments." I think I've been having them all my life, but it's been nice to have something people think they can relate to to blame them on.

Recently I've had two lapses of good sense or what should perhaps be common sense or even common knowledge, that resemble but aren't quite the same as senior moments. Actually, I'm surely I've had many more than two recently, but these two are ones I'm not too embarrassed to discuss.

Both incidents took place on an email list I'm a member of (not this one). A couple of weeks ago someone mentioned the practice of holding Jewish Passover celebrations in Christian (presumably almost always Protestant) churches. I'd heard of Jews for Jesus, an evangelistic organization made up of converts to evangelical Christianity from Judaism, staging seders in Protestant churches ranging from Pentecostal to Baptist to Lutheran and Episcopal. I replied to a letter someone sent about the practice by saying I was sure they weren't really "celebrating" Passover, merely learning about it to have more insight into the passages of the New Testament that describe the Jewish feast, pertaining to the Lord's Last Supper, the institution of the Christian mystery or ordinance of Holy Communion, and so on.

Wrong, other list members assured me. Passover celebrations have moved way beyond the Jews for Jesus Holy Thursday teaching exercises to full-fledged "Christian seders." Guess I shouldn't haven't cancelled my subscription to the daily paper.

Last Sunday morning before dawn fire struck the nearby sister parish of ours, making the building unuseable for services that day and moving the members of the congregation to come to our facilities for their services, after we ended ours. Later that day it was reported by a news service in London, England, that the church may have been the target of arsonists bent on making a terrorist statement against the mostly middle-Eastern members of that parish. That's all tragic and sickening, but my "senior moment" came still later when the Associated Press was quoted on the email list as reporting that the church had no smoke alarm. I responded to the list that it was ridiculous to make such a statement as no one was living at the church to hear such an alarm even if there'd been one.

Wrong again. The kind of smoke alarm meant, an evangelical pastor on the list informed us, dials the fire department in the early stages of fire breaking out. His church has one, he went on. Okay, once more, I should not depend on Jay Leno's monologues to get my news updates. Either that or, now that I'm pushing 60, I can plead "out of touch" and act like no one expects anyone as old as I am to be up on such newfangledness.

—Webmaster Jon Kennedy

State mottos (continued)

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney....

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

—Sent by Mike Harrison

Thought for the day

Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love, time is eternity.

—Henry Van Dyke

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