Crotchety

In recent days it strikes me that these entries tend to be too ponderous. Am I not a fun-loving lighthearted person, as I want to be and to be seen as by others? Why do I gravitate to gravity in topics, like spiritual principles and philosophizing? Is it an effect of being too aware of having recently passed my 59th birthday?

My brother Bob, whom regular readers should know already—13 years my senior—announced yesterday that he's getting married later this month. His wife of 33 years died of cancer almost two years ago, and after a year of settling his affairs in Indiana he moved back to Willows, Calif., almost a year ago, where they'd made their career in business. He subsequently met Katy in church in Willows, and they clicked. It's not appropriate to discuss a lady's age, but she is not younger than Bob. She has lived in the same house since the year I was born.

When I've been around her, the biggest impression I get is that Katy's a lighthearted fun-loving person who infects those around her with the same attitude. What better commendation can any "senior citizen" receive? I hope I never forget it, though I feel my crotchety grouchiness increases daily.

"Journaling," as this type of writing is called, is supposed to be shot from the hip; whatever comes to the writer's mind when he begins and within the short window of writing opportunity. Coming up with topics each day isn't easy, and the truism that we should write about what we know best is accompanied by the reality that what we know best may become unpalatable to readers overfed it. I usually reread the previous day's entry to see if there's anything left hanging that can be used as the starting point for today's. Absent any left-open topics, I look to see if yesterday's entry suggests a segue to one for today.

I'd like to write more humorously, like Dave Barry or the late Erma Bombeck. Lacking the humorous handling of most topics, I strive instead to drop funny juxtapositions of ideas or expressions into the mix, and overall make the writing worth reading for its literary quality—turns of phrase, poetic cadences, allusiveness—even when there's no mind-blowing subject to pin to the mat. Even mixing metaphors creatively can be used to distract readers from the fact that the topic du jour lacks humor or substance.

But I'm not sure it's working.

Finally, a parrot joke for a GP readership

Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, don't worry about my Doberman. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, ...do not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!"

When the repairman arrived at Mrs.Davidson's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest, meanest-looking Doberman he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name- calling. Finally, the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Spike!"

Dogliness

"Dear Lord, make me the kind of person that my dog thinks I am."

—Joyce Hickman .

Sent by Anonymous