Writing under pressure

Today there's a company meeting an hour's drive from the office that we all are required to go to, so it's a short day before the computer, and under the pressure, it's hard to think of more to say on our ongoing topic, relative poverty. I try to compose my "journal entries" in my head while doing other things, then write them down during a short break in the office routine.

My best writing teacher ever, UCLA journalism prof Robert Kirsch, believed much of the best writing is done under pressure. His standing assignment was: "Write 300 words every night, just before you go to bed. Being tired and being in a hurry is good. Write on the assigned topic or, if you can't come up with anything on the assignment, write on whatever that comes into your mind." It was the one journal I ever kept that was closest to this "Jonal," being written on specific "points" rather than recapping the day's events. It seemed to work to open the gates of creativity.

And it provided a topic for this, another, Jonal entry.

(Not really funny, but) A lot of truth in this

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word. Maybe this could explain: When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do: you forward jokes. When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes. When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes. To let you know that: you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, you are still wanted...guess what you get? A forwarded joke from me. So, my friend, next time you get a joke, don't think that I have sent you just a joke, but that I have thought of you today.

Installing LOVE

Customer Service Rep (CS Rep): Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install love. Can you guide me through the process?

CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?

CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?

CS Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in nontechnical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

CS Rep: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

CS Rep: Excellent. You're getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?

CS Rep: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go . .

Customer: Yes?

CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?

CS Rep: You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great Physician, but most call me God. Most people feel all they need is an annual check-up to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer (Me) suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put another way, keep in touch.